And Stay There

I love origami and hand-making or decorating my own paper. I love creating things in space, building with my hands. When I made this panel, it reminded me of a slab of meat. This got me thinking about my own interior and I how I'd illustrate it.

I imagined each bit of my psyche as a box with different components in it. One for love and happiness, another for sorrow and depression, and so forth. But what about all the horrible things? All the things I've fought so hard to overcome? The darkness I've had to come to terms with and ensure never rears its head again. What does that box look like?

It wasn't easy sealing that box. It was a difficult and hard won fight and I shed a lot of my own metaphorical blood in the process. There are 19 nails present (all made of paper), one for each year of my life before the event that lead me to prison.

Most of those nails were wasted, but not all. Some lessons have stayed with me. The true binding of this dark container is the peridot ribbon lovingly bound and knotted around it. All those who love and support me the most are born in August.

Nails require a hammer to fulfill their purpose. This one is empowered through self discovery and the concept of loving kindness, which must start with oneself, no matter how difficult. Its violet talisman is in direct contrast to the poisoned green hearts of failed expectations.

Each box contains its own list of interiorities, save one. This empty box is there to indicate there's always room to grow.

Medium: Mixed media; acrylic and oil paint with papier-mâché hammer and nails over up-cycled and re-purposed packing.